TEXAN IN HEAVEN

A Texan died and ascended into Heaven.

St. Peter met and welcomed him saying,
"You will certainly enjoy Paradise."
 

The Texan shook his head sadly and said,
"I always thought that Texas was Paradise."

St. Peter continued,

"Well, let me show you what we have to offer."

He took the Texan to an area that had a
beautiful river flowing through it,

and wildlife and flowers everywhere.

"Isn't this beautiful?" asked St. Peter.

"Yes, but not as pretty as the area around San Antonio."

Somewhat ruffled, St. Peter took him to another area
where there were rolling hills, whitetail deer,
and bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrush everywhere.

"Now," said St. Peter, "Have you ever seen anything so wonderful?"

The Texan paused a moment before he answered,
"Yes, it is beautiful, but it does not hold a candle to the
Texas Hill Country in the springtime."

Becoming more upset, St. Peter next took the Texan

to a beautiful white beach with gentle waves and an azure sky.

"Now, have you seen anything this beautiful in Texas,"
questioned St. Peter.

The Texan smiled and drawled,
"I guess you've never been to South Padre Island."

At this point St. Peter took the Texan to a large rock.
On the side of the rock was a huge iron door.
St. Peter opened the door and they stepped into an
elevator and started going down.
As they descended it grew more and more hot.
When the elevator door opened it revealed the fires of hell.

St. Peter finally asked him,
"Now, have you got anything in Texas that can top that?"

The Texan thought for a moment before shaking his head,
"No, but I know a couple of old boys from Houston
who can put that thing out for you."

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